marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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