return my video game
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
