By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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