Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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