I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize