The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ugly people sure do ruin things
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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