Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
