Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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