i jhust puked up my retainher.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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