If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize