why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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