so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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