someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize