she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
