Pappa wants mamma naked
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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