I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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