i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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