Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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