i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize