Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
