So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
