he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
