Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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