I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
