Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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