started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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