One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
