did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
