He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
