dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
