Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
