You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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