I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
