He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
