fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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