garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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