At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
