dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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