you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm always down for nudity.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
