So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
