Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
