even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
