Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
