So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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