handjob tips. give me some.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
