the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
