I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
