we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
