Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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