so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I currently don't understand fingers.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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