i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
