my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
