That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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