i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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