also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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