We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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