I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
