just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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