it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
