i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
