so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
