I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
