Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I believe in your delicious
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
