Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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