Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
