Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
