Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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