Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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