i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize