You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
