Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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