At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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