His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
