5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
