There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize