Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
